It's Just Life

hmm

2011-05-08T08:22:00.001-07:00

I was never the first choice for you...

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Back

2011-04-24T08:10:00.000-07:00

Whoa, it's been damn long since I've blogged. And my word have I changed. I'm no longer the self-loathing person I was before. Maybe a little. But I'm more thankful now. About everything. There's so much to say but I'm too lazy to type.
Maybe I'll officially start blogging tomorrow?

MSN

...

2009-09-18T10:14:00.000-07:00

I wake up every morning.. looking at the telecommunicating device called a mobile phone,hoping you'll send a text..i eventually got tired of waiting, and stopped sleeping altogether.
Is keeping a friend such a chore? If so, why do many people have this thing called "Friends"?

I thought through, in detail, every damn night, but there's no damning evidence to how i could have screwed this up so badly...
I regard myself as nothing more than a soul..finding the thing called "friends" bt apparently, all efforts were to no avail...
Going hysterical isn't fun...it's no funny business..
Losing a friend totally..but it's not any of your doing, feels like being slit at the throat, and being hung on a hook with that open wound supporting ur weight...
Painstaking, and there's not a damn hell thing you can do about it..

I know it isn't my fault..or if it is..it's a minute portion..
but I take full responsibility for what has happened, even if I don't understand why.
I'm ashamed of myself for letting this happen that, I can't face myself while looking in the mirror.
Glancing in a mirror, I see a failure, a social failure..and a failure in many other ways..

Deprived of rest, sleep, comfort..leaves me being agitated and at the verge of exploding at everyone in almost every possible way..
I don't want someone...I NEED someone...
Get me back into the whole I was from before I shattered into the little pathetic pieces you see me as now...
I need someone to hold me like you mean it... Care for me, not out of pity, but from deep in your heart..
All I can do is hope, for a better day. and hope for a day where my world is turned upside down, so I'll be facing the right way..

MSN

what??

2009-09-06T09:59:00.000-07:00

I never promised anything, you forced me into it...

why?

2009-09-06T06:14:00.001-07:00

Why is the situation so damned like this?
I want to live optimistically, but things bring me down for reasons I don't know.
People say, look on the bright side life,that I can understand,
But there are limits to it. Just like pessimism, there are also limits to that..

Being overly optimistic isn't good..that's because you're portraying an image of "People are throwing dung at me.Oh well,it's life"
It's just, not right..
Instead of always looking at the bright side and dont do shit at all and have things repeating, why not do something to rectify the problem/situation?
That's what I'm trying to do, rather than forget and avoid since that'll get me nowhere.

It isn't easy if I have to do a scavanger hunt for the pieces of the puzzle. If you want to be left alone, fine, I can understand.. Just tell me what I've done wrong and we'll be on our way to a not-knowing-each-other life.
I'm tired of not sleeping...I'm tired cause I haven't been sleeping because of this.
I want rest. I'm now pleading for an answer.. From anyone..

MSN

thank youuuu

2009-08-28T12:17:00.000-07:00

To someone in malaysia,
thanks for always being there for me,
i owe ya lots!

MSN

Time Will Not Heal All Of Your Pain

2009-08-28T01:59:00.000-07:00

I shall take this knife, to cut you out of my life,
Excruciating pain wreaks but it's all worth in due time,
Time is all it takes to heal it, but a visible scar would be left,

Deceived, Mistrusted, Misused,
As people live by intolerance and hate.
Now,left falling but tired of wondering why,
Just disintegrating slowly,

I have to learn to be numb,to all the things,
Waiting for that day to come,where I'm living the life I dreamed of,
And you're dead to me

MSN

...

2009-08-26T02:52:00.000-07:00

What's left of a soul, is just a barren heart,
Destroyed by words of humans,
Words shot through as if it was shooting through paper,
Easily tearing through flesh and blood, hitting the intended target with no hesitation.

The more the thought of letting go, the harder it is to do so,
Ignorance is bliss some might say,
But it's also a passage way to the own downfall of yourself,

Tears fall like rain,
Sadness? Agony? It feels the same.
Self-loath and self-hate won't be propelling anyone, anywhere.
Those text messages were a gruesome scare..

If all of this is a game, I want out.
It's as if chasing after something which is never really there,
Just a vague feeling, but it's non-existent

MSN

hmm

2009-08-21T08:26:00.000-07:00

If only i have a possible way of talking to that someone..

MSN

Don Henley - Heart Of The Matter

2009-08-11T22:59:00.000-07:00

I got the call today, I didnt wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old, true friend of ours was talkin on the phone
She said youd found someone
And I thought of all the bad luck,
And the struggles we went through
And how I lost me and you lost you
What are these voices outside loves open door
Make us throw off our contentment
And beg for something more?
Im learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, Im learning again
Ive been tryin to get down
To the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think its about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you dont love me anymore
These times are so uncertain
Theres a yearning undefined
And people filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age?
The trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness
Theyre the very things - we kill I guess
Pride and competition
Cannot fill these empty arms
And the work I put between us
You know it doesnt keep me warm
Im learning to live without you now
But I miss you, baby
And the more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought Id figured out
I have to learn again
Ive been trying to get down
To the heart of the matter
But everything changes
And my friends seem to scatter
But I think its about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you dont love me anymore
There are people in your life whove come and gone
They let you down you know they hurt your pride
You better put it all behind you baby; life goes on
You keep carryin that anger; itll eat you up inside, baby
Ive been trying to get down
To the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak
And my thought seem to scatter
But I think its about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you dont love me
Ive been tryin to get down
To the heart of the matter
Because the flesh will get weak
And the ashes will scatter
So Im thinkin about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you dont love me
Forgiveness
Forgiveness - baby
Forgiveness
Forgiveness
Forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, you dont love me anymore

such a beautiful song...;(
MSN

-_-'

2009-08-10T08:10:00.000-07:00

Cretin, Ignoramus
Cretin, Ignoramus
Cretin, Ignoramus
Cretin, Ignoramus
Cretin, Ignoramus
Cretin, Ignoramus
Cretin, Ignoramus
Cretin, Ignoramus

that is all...

MSN

-----

2009-07-27T06:21:00.000-07:00

Hey whats left of the visitors of this blog..
i just got my new phone yesterday...
Samsung Omnia II..
YIPPEEEE!
lol..random lol...

anyway..thats all i wanna say..since nth really happened today..
except that i got detention for being late ONCE...
arses...

P.S...
The impact of losing a friend is much more than losing a girl/guy in a relationship...
trust me

from,
MSN

Oh Cock

2009-04-11T09:23:00.000-07:00

I actually have nothing to talk about...
just that its bloody boring...and i feel like pooping now..quite literally

finally updated...not worth to see anyway..
hah

MSN

Hmm...

2009-01-12T07:58:00.001-08:00

Hmm...i wonder...

Was the decision a false move?
Million point question for me..
anyway,yes im back to blog..no idea why...
i should be sleeping..but im not..
okay..shall not digress..

It seems that my life is always being like between Scylla and Charybdis...
either way,im doomed..
hah,plenty for a 16 year old..
and at the 4th quart of the year, MAJOR EXAM
my hobby?gone i guess...coz preparing for this major exam..
as long as the exam isnt over,its my obstacle..

If any of the members of A in Ace is reading this..
im very proud of you guys, do go on without me..
i have no regrets and i hope u guys wont have any too..
coz i know you guys will excel all the way..
for the 4 remaining original members,keep the spirit there.
you guys are the true members..thanks for the great experience..
and i heard u guys found a replacement..and yea,possibly better than i could ever be
thats a big thumbs up for you guys..
:D

next,i dun think its worth my time to express my grief online...
not going to do it unless no one else listens...
i guess i juz have to open up my eyes and see what im worth to this world..
see what i have to give..no matter how petty,its better than nothing...

lastly,
music is juz a hobby for me..very educational..yet,very distracting..
people often think..im all for it..
but in fact,im just doing it to cool down from life..
its all opinions...but ill stick to mine..
i know i still have friends who care...they can help me loosen up and lighten the stress and stuff..
i owe them lots..
ill just see where life leads me...

signing off,
MSN
btw,for you people who hate/despise/disdain/loathe the posts on this blog or plainly have extra time to spam...
you people can go fuck yourselves...
;)

idiotism

2008-08-20T03:10:00.000-07:00

Alright..im gonna post with juz 1 colour..its not what i call a joyful post

i have done smth im not proud of..i shall not share it with u readers..

sry.

but i would juz like to say to that someone that im totally sorry,

i juz,cant believe i was soo self-centered..

bad enuff i did smth like that..and didnt consider ur feelings

i knw ive said this a few times..bt really

i dun expect total forgiveness from you..

i juz want u to knw i feel like a 1st class jackass..and im super sorry

i knw this might not mean a thing..

bt juz to let u knw,ill be living with the guilt of making u feel that way

hope you haven't thrown that poem away..

i do feel the same way still..

im totally,ashamed of myself

Remorsefully,

MSN

26-06-08

2008-06-26T07:34:00.000-07:00

YOOOOOO...
sorry i delayed a day..
didnt feel like posting..

so here im back today..not with song lyrics..
bt npcc stuff..
haha
FINALLY GOT OUR POSTS/POSITIONS ON TUESDAY!
today is thursday..2 days late..
lol..
so,yeah...
im in charge of sec 3s..and overall head of trainings..
got my 1st assignment today,1 day before my official day in..
planning for the sec 4s big day tmr..
WOOT..
ok uninteresting much..

been learning 2 songs lately..
Come Home Soon by Pug Jelly and Happy Birthday by The Click 5
at least fresh songs to keep me occupied..
open up my vocab of songs to play...
coz i get bored easily and..
ok u knw what readers?
ive been typing crap for the past few lines..
coz really i dunno what to say..
i tink i head off to do some final touches to my planning
okay..
goodbye readers!

MSN

23-6-08

2008-06-23T07:50:00.000-07:00

Whoa...didnt knw time flies so fast...
sorry i havent been updating this blog...
i will not state the reason why..

a few things happened while i was away not posting...
NPCC course...again..
NPCC trainings...
a day out with her!!!!yippee!
malaysia outing with family..
uhhh...2 terminal 3 outings with family
and a few more i guess would be boring u ppl to hell if i stated it

and to hanis,if ur reading this,better be happy that i updated ok?!
hahah
nahh just joking

i guess ill juz post more song lyrics of songs im currently listening to
like...once in 2 days or smth..
so here it goes..
the next song lyric!
dun mind the punctuation points..
its juz for fun..doesnt mean a thing,
except the outing wif her part XD

The Dagger
by Roadrunner United

Your tongue is a dagger
And I am bleeding
My faded dreams were all for you

And with one word, and with just one word
Choking the life, I breathe my last
And with one look, and with just one look
You hold the key to this heart of glass

This is the withering
I’m aging years in moments
This is the path that leads
To my demise

Your tongue is a dagger
And I am bleeding
My faded dreams were all for you

And with one word, and with just one word
You’ve shattered my world and crushed my soul
And with one look, and with just one look
The rising sun has never felt so cold

This is the suffering
The echoes of your voice haunt
This faded memory
Is my demise

Your tongue is a dagger
And I am bleeding
My faded dreams were all for...

And I feel this all too slow
And I’ve been here for so long
And I feel so empty
As you walk away

What have you done?
What have you done?
What have you done?
What have you done?

I would give it all away
For the chance to shine again
I would freely pay the price
For the touch of your hand

And I feel this all too slow
And I’ve been here for so long
And I feel so empty
As you walk away

What have you done?
What have you become?
All is lost
We are left with sorrow

What have you done?
What have you become?
All is lost
We are left with sorrow

What have you done?
What have you done?
What have you done?
What have you done?

the lyrics doesnt refer to anything,anyone by anyhow..
its juz smth i like to listen to..
especially the killer solo by the guitarist JEFF WATERS..
haha
ok..i guess you readers would be hearing from me again really soon!
making it a habit so this blog doesnt die..
haha
alriiite peeps..
stay tuned/updated/ or wadeva...

MSN

3-6-08

2008-06-03T09:56:00.000-07:00

AHHHH!!!!
Its great to be back blogging...
not that i've tried blogging for the past few days,for some obvious reasons(LAZY)...
im not gonna tell u ppl wad happened in the past few days coz i frgt wad has happened...and all i knw,it was hectic..
so ill juz story about..TODAY!

TODAY!
had a freaking 1 day course about Civil Defence...
BOOOORIIING..
bloody easy sia...i tink without going for the course..
i would still be able to do the 15Q all MCQ test...
damn easy
got full marks(YAY!)..
the reason why im rejoicing..is coz i rarely get anything close to that even
so this is quite..an okay accomplishment

now...im gonna put some song lyrics...
uhh...2 songs today..
coz i feel like it..if u ppl arent interested..
please excuse urself from reading...easy?
GOOOD..
here they are,
1st song..
this is juz a song ive been listening for sooooo long thanks to my parents..
since i could voice out song lyrics...this song has been in my song bank..
so yah..its a great song nonetheless..
though,1 of the singers...sounds less male like..
doesnt change the outcome of the song tho..
i love this song.
if u guys think im weird,go screw urself
bwahahha

All Out Of Love
by:Air Supply
Im lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
I know you hurt too but what else can we do
Tormented and torn apart

I wish I could carry your smile in my heart
For times when my life seems so low
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring
When today doesnt really know, doesnt really know

(chorus)
Im all out of love, Im so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
Im all out of love, what am I without you
I cant be too late to say I was so wrong

I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from these long, lonely nights
Im reaching for you, are you feeling it too?
Does the feeling seem oh, so right?

And what would you say if I called on you now
And said that I cant hold on?
Theres no easy way, it gets harder each day
Please love me or Ill be gone, Ill be gone

(chorus)
Ooh, what are you thinking of
What are you thinking of
What are you thinking of
What are you thinking of
(repeat chorus)

so there it is..a beautiful song
NOW...the 2nd 1...
its a band u guys probably wont have heard of..
some may have..
oh well..
here it is anyway...

Army Of The Sun
by:Roadrunner United

I was electrified by your eyes as they froze
Inviting me inside of your life to grow

Everlasting setting sun
Youre my angel, youre the only one
No one close and nothing compares in the end
We will be together again

I'm so mesmerized by the light you expose
Igniting a fire deep inside of my soul

Everlasting setting sun
Youre my angel, youre the only one
No one close and nothing compares in the end
We will be together again

Darkness shall fall with the strength of us all
Darkness shall fall
Darkness shall fall with the strength of us all
It shall fall

I raise my white flag
Its the last flag Ill ever raise
Don't stay away
Staring at you and all you are
I believe
Yeah I believe
Yeah I believe

(So much sadness, what happened to happiness...)
Everlasting setting sun
Youre my angel, youre the only one
No one close and nothing compares in the end
Youre my angel, youre the only one

We will be together again

there is my 2nd song..
now juz a little bit more of a post...

She already came back frm camp...
but we're talking less....i dunno why..
today..i didnt message her or anything..coz i had a course..
then at 10 smth at night..she msged me bt i didnt reply..
rly sry dear...
i really really miss u and wanna see u again..
bt when??
haizz..

MSN

24-05-08

2008-05-24T04:57:00.001-07:00

YO PEOPLE!

this is shit awesome..
haha..i dunno why...bt it feels shit awesome..
ok honestly..i dunno wad im saying
okay anyway..
i got issues with carvings in toilets

i don't understand...why people would wanna mention that there were there..
like "Chu Meng was here!!"..carved in the toilets..or written in permanent ink..
probably thousands of ppl go to the same cubical..no1 gives a damn who was there!
even if Lee Kuan Yew did that..nobody would say "I'm on the cubical that Lee Kuan Yew sat on once!"
bloody idiots...
and they have bloody idiotic insults as well
such as "Jerry is gay!"
then sm1 would cancel Jerry..and put "Faris is gayER"
amazing hw they entered the same cubical...
why not write more...sensible comments..or remarks in the cubical..
"You're full of crap"
atleast we can respond by saying "yes thats why im here"
or atleast..instead of the cliche " (name) was here",change it to like..
"(name) drop bombs here"...itll look cooler and nicer at the same time..
or "i bake choco cake and make lemon juice here"
good adverts
bt my main point is...i dun get why must any1 carve or vandalize at all..
nt like when they're doing their business...they feel a sense of hatred towards sm1..
and decided to release the anger on the walls..
and no1 cares if u were there or not..
its not like...we knw who exactly u are..
morons..

that marks the end of my post...
to idiots who carves shit on the walls of the cubicals..stop it..
no1 cares..

MSN

after many days...23-5-08

2008-05-22T09:44:00.000-07:00

Back with a post...
italics are super unreadable...
ok anywayyyy...
im gonna spend time talking abt the ash person on my taggie,
since the person probably doesnt knw the meaning of random,or probably dunno what he/she is talking about..
and i doubt ur a girl,ash,unless ur a self-proclaimed 1...
and fyi,too lame to be living...
isnt the worst of the shit names u can see..
i don't understand why ppl would wanna diss ppl off coz of their blog URLs..
unless u really have a deep issue with that sm1 until u wanna keep ur identity a secret,
which is apparently obvious that u have an issue with me,something current,
since,no1 in the past bothers coming to me.
and the name ASH,come on...
even the malay name Petom,frm the 50s is a better choice..
and i doubt its a coincidence that there is smth similarly named to ASH which is close to home...
-_-"
do come up with smth better b4 u tag..its wasting my tagboard space..seriously..
and ur only talking about a minority of ppl who would feel easier if i did die..
i still have my family,REAL friends,my hobbies, and my future to live for..
yes,i sometimes think im too lame to be living yes,
that doesnt mean life wont accept me as i am,
only fucktards like u ppl wont accept the fact that im me..
to hell with what u think,no1 with a conditional identity is going to change hw i live my life..
if im sad..im sad,if im happy,im happy,
so be it..if u hate me being sad/emo/fuck-ish...go fuck urself...
dont give me the shit that "im never like that"
ur time will come..
when ull feel black dog despair and u feel u have not much to live for..
try me,juz wait and see...
if ur feeling heated and trying to oppose me,try me..
im stating facts,every1 goes through moments of shittyness...
fuck,who tha hell do u think u are to juz go judging me by my blog name?
i dun care if ur a well-known person,
or if ur well-known,in ur little world,which apparently makes u feel big and full of power and authority..
shit,dun even start judging things b4 u knw what happened
if ur sm1 close to me,i still dun care..
u started it,i have the rights to get back,and its my blog..
go be the fucktard u are and get the fuck out of my blog since u fucking dun like it..
fucking dick...probably dun have 1...since ur identity is messed up as ur brain...

MSN

Another post midnight hour

2008-05-19T01:15:00.000-07:00

haizz...
im nt aslp..
im disturbed...and to tell u ppl the truth
i hevent been totally truthful to u all readers..
and sorry,this is a disappointingly saddening post
since,im gonna confess smth

"I've Been Hiding My Pain,You See"
a quote from a song by Disturbed...
yes i have been doing so..
the reason why,ive been putting a smile on my face all this while is coz..
i wanna see everybody else happy..
i always put ppl in front of myself
self-centered much?
doubt so..
yes i have been an ass..
i knw,bt tt doesnt change the fact that,ill always put friends/family..people in general,
1st,before myself
all these empty smiles,little laughters...
sorry to disappoint you guys,i really notice the coldness between ppl and me..
not specifically towards juz 1 group of ppl..its a wide range of ppl i knw
since this is my blog..i can write about whatever i want to..
sry syg,that i hevent been totally truthful to u too..
im nt really all that happy...
bt juz being with u..will make my day..
thats why i always want to see u...
sometimes it does hurt to knw i cant see u..
bt its understandable most of the time...
im not blaming u on anything...
i juz hope i cld be with u more often
bt if thts not possible,its alrite...

MSN

Wednesday 14-05-08

2008-05-14T08:07:00.000-07:00

Another usual day...but now...
the poem i promised yesterday!smth smth...
okayy...yah.
so if its crappy,ull knw im a crappy poet..
bwahhaha

here goesss

Wish For Serenity

Peace has left this world,
In this world we live,
The war,the riots the gore,
Kills the peace,we can't give

Each time a bomb is dropped,
Thousands are claimed,
Buildings crumble,cars pulverized,
We are to blame.

Most do not care,
For the hell we made,
Seize this moment,
For what has been said.

Everyone will drown,
In the near future,
Death is inevitable,
The inescapable torture

Peace has left this world,
So will everybody,
This is just a writing,
And a wish for serenity..

bwahhah...hws the poem?
liked it?i doubt so...
its a plead,that goes to nowhere..
so yah...this is hw i spend my time..
and yes,im a lousy poet...

im nt feeling all that joyous anymore..
i realised that..im kinda like,
shiok sendiri-ing...(Translation - Having fun in my own world)
in other words, feeling a bit...out of place
yeahh..tts it..out of place...
2nd round of torture was today..
got back 2 papers...
not impressive the marks tho...
saaad...
okay anyway...
tmrs the bottle rocket activity thingy for us sec 3s...
so yeah..
not really looking forward to it bt hell...its compulsory..
i kinda enjoy blogging..somewhat
nowadays..i feel agitated easily..
i dunno why bt i do feel so..
gd thing i have good company arnd me,especially u syg ;)
hah,nvr fails to brighten me up..
great..ive made a supposedly short post become damn long...
alriiite...i wish i could blog more...bt as the lines go by..
less ppl would read it..
so b4 i lose readers...
ill stop here..
kk!
thanks for reading again ppl!
ill try write more songs...
okayyyyyy...
goodbye and thnx again!

MSN

Tuesday 13-05-08

2008-05-13T05:39:00.000-07:00

TODAY!we get back our results...
i will not elaborate on it...since I've got smth better to post abt.
SORRY
for those who keeps on coming here to find nth updated..
haven't had the mood to post...coz im darn lazy to even type..
hahhaha..(laughing at urself is healthy btw)

i actually wanted to write 1 of my written lyrics...
for a song i nvr really had any idea hw to do or compose

so here it is anyway
my own song...(its crappy now i think of it..hah..heck care)

Deeper Into Sorrow
MSN(duh)

Verse
Strumming of the guitar,Constantly plays in my head,
I couldn't forget,what she said,
Lost in the cold,alone in the snow,
Leaving me homeless,as the martyr takes me down(last word draags)

Pre-Chorus 1
Down by the alley,I shiver and fall,
Does anyone care at all?

Chorus
(Deeper into sorrow),
My mind crash and fails,
screams to no avail,
(Deeper in my thoughts),
Falling deeper alone,
Can someone take me back home?

Verse 2
Taking back the words,longing to be heard,
Lying down as time goes by,
Sitting in my room,staring at the moon,
Thinking deeper with no reason why..(again..it draags)

Pre-chorus 2
Tearing my life as there's no where to hide,
her words takes my life,
The taste of defeat,feeling as my heartbeat,
listening to your lie

Repeat Chorus

Supposed solo section

Pre-chorus 3?
Lost in the cold,alone in the snow,
listening as you tell the lie.

Repeat Chorus

(ending line after music fades...)
Listening as you tell a lie

ok...thats about it
i knw kinda lame...
bt its under production...till...i dunno when..till i say so i guess
ok..I KNW ITS EMO-LIKE..
supposed to be metalcore..
bt it sounds saddening
i knw
OKAY!
next time ill post smth on a more joyful topic k readers??
thnx for reading!

MSN

Friday 9-5-08

2008-05-09T23:58:00.000-07:00

RELIEF!!!

bwahahhaha...
exams are over!
and now im gonna post abt the past 3 days of not posting whatsoever..

Wednesday,7th may 1978..plus 30 years..(lame)

WE..had our NPCC day thingy...
the reason why i say thingy,is coz i dunno if its a celebration,
or juz smth to say that NPCC got 1 year older..
i dunno...
anyway,NPCC cadets around the island had to wear our uniform for the whole day...
my whole day was juz...1 and a half hours...
coz its EXAM WEEK..
so exam week has its advantages..
after that..met her at the bus stop and sent her home..
SHE WAS RELIEVED!thank god...
then studied a little for dnt
den slacked through out the day...
SET AR...haha
randomness
chem paper was alritely difficult..
actually it was difficult..

THURSDAY 8-5-08

day of evilism...
i dunno if there is such a word...i dun care...my blog,my dictionary
dearest told me she couldnt go home with me,
coz she had to buy paint with her frend,after sch,for her art exam the next day
den i msged her..bt she didnt notice the msges recieved,nvm bout that..
den met her after her paper...i asked if can...
seemingly,1 of her frends was acting weird abt the idea,
so i scrapped it and followed my friends..
bought food,ate at the void deck somewhere..
after that..one of us had a brilliant idea(not me,im nowhere near brilliant)
we wanted to scare the shit out of the other group,mainly made up of chinese(NOT RACIST HERE..WE WERE JUZ SEPARATED!)
we pretended to have seen Mr.Singh...den juz ran
they foolishly believed us and ran too...
abt 4 of the chinese dudes ran half way towards Downtown East..
hahahha
funny shit..
den we walked...and saw sec 2 dudes(dearest,they are ur classmates) eating..
so we planned,den the plan got into action,a few moments after that..
sufyan did a superb impression of Mr.Singhs voice.
ran like mad dogs..
so did the sec 2s...hahhahaah
1 of them was running TOWARDS school...on a hill den fell..
we were laughing our asses off...
bt good sports they were..laughed along...
hahah
after that,went home...chilled...waited for her to call
and waited..and waited..
AND waited...
then the thought came to mind "are they buying paint or making paint?"
must be shit loads of paint then...
hahah,sry syg...
picked her up sooner than expected..
haha...den i saw her in home clothes(wow..)
with her frend afiqah..
also in home clothes..
i was confused,bt didnt care much...
she told me she went back home 1st and changed then went
and her paint was with her other fren,rach..
for u readers...ITS ONLY 1 BOX OF PAINT...
they go wander arnd a bit after that...
explaiined?goood...
saw my bro at the playground near her hse...dun care..skip that...
den smth amazing happened btween us 2...
i dun wanna tell.. :D
the rest of the day...i cant stop tinking abt hw awesome that incident was...
it was awesomer than awesome!
the rest of the day was juz a bore...
DNT paper was...LOOONG WINDED...

Friday, 9-5-08

OHHHH YEAHH...TODAY
ROCKS..MY...should i say balls/world/socks?
u choose readers!
ok.back to the day's activities..
had exam...physics/chem MCQ questions
i was having a little headache...
coz in the morning in the toilet,a song came into my head..
all the while in the toilet i head banged to the beat...
AHHAHHA...yes people...in the toilet..HEAD BANGED
cool shit..had its consequences...dun care
right,
we went to the canteen after exams...
den they all did smth whacky as usual...while i played tetris on my hp..
beat my high score!haha...soo happy..
ok anyway!
3 of them had another exam paper...and 2 went home..
so left me..and my dear HP...with 30% batt left...
i decided to go out and wait for her at the bus-stop
den she msged me...saying we couldnt meet since she had to meet teachers for some reason i shall not state(not bad reason)
bt i did meet her..
bt almost missed the chance...
haha...i shall nt explain the route i went..bt met her at blk 230 minimart...
sent her home
did wad we did yesterday again...the wow thingy...
den sabby came to my hse...fooled arnd abit..
then he left...
den i went for friday prayers...met hidayat,ahmad,zaf,rayyan and nawfal..
so went with them..
ahmad,zaf and hidayat were going bowling...then zaf asked if i wanna follow...so i said anything...
after friday prayers...we went to E!hub to go bowling..
complications there and waited for quite a duration...
den,finally got to bowl!
YIPPEEEE!
some other guys joined us too
Iskandar was the demon speed bowler...
ahha
he managed a 22.17 miles an hour speed...
mad dog...
zaf too was mad...coming close at... 21. smth smth
i topped the board twice!
haha...Nivash did it at the 1st round...i did it in the next 2 rounds..
i dun think the 3rd 1 counted since nobody gave a damn anyway
bowling rocks..
hahha
den went to pasir ris park..
with hidayat,hamizzan,ahmad and amanda..
hidayat and i...half2 jiwang-ing...
style ar...
zan was playful as usual..and irritating as well...
oh...ahmad and amanda were having their own..private time
so yah..
den we jiwang-ed...i stayed at the rocks...while hidayat went to kick a tree and practiced silat kickings and stuff..
hes damn good at it la...
wow..
den headed home..hidayat,hamizzan and i..
hidayat reached home 1st since his hse is nearest...
followed by zan...den me
went home...did some stuffs...recorded shit...
den yah...dats abt it...
and nw...IM HERE!
blogging..this super long post...
and with a song i like...yet again...
not many may have heard this..
its really nice for ur loved ones...
i hope mine likes it...

so here it is!a not hit single from some people most of u have never heard of:

Beautiful
Jim Brickman Ft. Wayne Brady

From the Moment I saw you,
from the moment I looked into your eyes
there was something about you
I knew I knew
that you were once in a life time
a treasure near impossible to find
and I know how lucky I am to have you

Chorus:
Cause I've seen the rainbows that can take your breath away
the beauty of the setting sun that ends a perfect day
and when it comes to shooting stars, I've seen a few
but I've never seen anything...as beautiful as you

Holding you in my arms
no one else has fit so perfectly
I could dance forever with you, with you
and at the stroke of midnight
please forgive me if I can't let go
cause I never dreamed I'd find a Cinderella of my own

Chorus:
Cause I've seen the rainbows that can take your breath away
the beauty of the setting sun that ends a perfect day
and when it comes to shooting stars, I've seen a few
but I've never seen anything...as beautiful as you

Chorus repeat:
Cause I've seen the rainbows that can take your breath away
the beauty of the setting sun that ends a perfect day
and when it comes to shooting stars, I've seen a few
but I've never seen anything...
Oh Oh, Oh no, I've never seen anything...as beautiful as you

from the moment I saw you,
from the moment I looked into your eyes...

Felt this way when i did...fall for her..
hehe..
if u all are in awe...
listen to the song...for real..its nice
i like this part especially "Cause I've seen the rainbows that ccan take your breath away,the beauty of the setting sun that ends a perfect day,and when it comes to shooting stars,I've seen a few,
but I've never seen anything...as beautiful as you"
gosh...its a nice song...
this is another song dedicated to u dear!
hehe...

alrite...thats abt it...i hope uve enjoyed yet another 1 of my superly long posts...
elongated to the length of...many sheets of paper...
yada2...
alrite..
GD DAY and happy blog hopping peeps!
bb!

MSN

Tuesday 6-5-08

2008-05-06T07:21:00.000-07:00

TODAY!
im not gonna post abt the exams...ill leave it till friday...
TODAY!
im gonna post lyrics..of not 2...not 3...BUT 1 SONG...
TODAY!
is our independence day!
ok scrap that last 1...im trying to make it sound like a speech of independence...

Aerosmith
I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While youre far away dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

Dont want to close my eyes
I dont want to fall asleep
Cause Id miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
Id still miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing

Lying close to you feeling your heart beating
And Im wondering what youre dreaming
Wondering if its me youre seeing
Then I kiss your eyes
And thank God were together
I just want to stay with you in this moment forever
Forever and ever

Dont want to close my eyes
I dont want to fall asleep
Cause Id miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
Id still miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing

I dont want to miss one smile
I dont want to miss one kiss
I just want to be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just want to hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time

Dont want to close my eyes
I dont want to fall asleep
Cause Id miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
Id still miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing

Dont want to close my eyes
I dont want to fall asleep
I dont want to miss a thing

shes worried abt tmrs exam...and im worried for her...
I MISS HER LAAAA
this song is dedicated to u dearest ;D
ok..
sorry readers...nothing interesting today for u to read..
hope u enjoy the lyrics

MSN

Monday 5-5-08

2008-05-05T07:03:00.000-07:00

AHHHHH!!!
Physics succckss!
i hate u omairah..
hahahha
i dun trust u that u said it was easy..
dammit...

ok here's hw the day went..

MORNING!
*yaaawwwwwnnnnn*
woke up...
*fast forwards to school*
DAAAMN
physics...scary!
haiz...dead as...a carcass...
bt studied...yess..
passing...i dun tink so...
malay paper 2 wasnt so bad..
still bad...
ok skip that
physics paper...
yada yada...

ok back from yada-ing

after exam...
this is where the fun starts..
fun as in FUN..
when i say FUN i really mean FUUUUNN
ok to me la...
we went to Loyang Point to Macs...to eat...
on the way there...
3 of them went separate ways...temporarily...
coz 1 of the 3 ran frm...SOMEONE..
okay...i shall spare peoples shame and agony...
so left me,fal and yat...
we walked...den sat...
den walked...no we didnt sit again -_-"..later we sit...juz u wait...
we walked...hidayat saw the other 3 walking the long way...
bloody bastards(didnt mean it badly tho)
we chased after them...after half a min of chasing...blocked them
hahah
CAUGHT YA YOU PPL!
i dunno what adjectives to use...so i use ppl...easy
ANYWAY...back to story...reader no like crappy interuptions*growls*
ok lagi lame..
BACK to the story...
we walked to Loyang Point..
got into Macs...
put our bags down..
NO..NO SIT YET...
WAAAIT...
we went walk2 1st...
went into Macs again...
den sat...
AHAH...finally we sat...
no more suspense whatsoever
den bought food,ate,crapped around...
disgusting mixture of Macs' sweet sauce*SWEEET SAAAAUUUUCE*
and curry sauce*CURRRYYYY SAAAAUUUUCE*
lameness*LAAAAMENESSSSSSS*
oh shuttup u damn deep voice*OKKAAAAAYYY*

ahhh...got rid of that...
we now head to some block to get air batu malaysia/singapore...
dun ask me why the 2 countries...its juz there
den bought it...bla bla
went into the lift...
got down from 2nd to 1st floor...
den yat asked all of us to stay inside..wanted to "show" us smth...
pressed 11...
3rd floor...
BASHED NAWFAL...since its his bday...
ok...frm there...DOWN 11 FLOORS AGAIN...
BASHED AGAIN...
hahahha..2 rounds...
zuhaili had to go home on the way to the next destination
awwww...

after that...went to the mosque...for our mid-day prayers(Zohor)
den we decided to head back..
WARNING TO READERS...IF THIS GETS BORING...SKIP THIS PARAGRAPH...
we walked our way back...den ...it rained a lil
nawfal left us next...followed shortly by yat...
den left me,yan and suf...
got to yan's hse...played with a cat..named Kitty..
den went to play soccer..
pls do take note me and suf are still in sch uniform..
den we slacked...den i called her...
den we talked...den me and guys crapped arnd...
wowww...den we slacccckkkked moooooore...
i told u readers its gonna be boring...
it was abt...5 by the time we went inside yan's hse...
TO STUDY PROPERLY...
FINALLY RITE...
the whole objective to stay out of home is to study...bt nooo
most of the time spent was juz plain fooling arnd...
den taught suf abit2...
den dats abt it...

NEXT PARAGRAPH...
k readers...start here...
went home...at 6:35 PM or smth
late...VERY late...
if u readers are waiting for smth funny to happen...NO...NOT HAPPENING...NUH UH...
not anytime...soon..
ok ok...at home...
relaxed abit *RELLAAAAAAAAXX*
*sigh* big voice,pls...go away..ur irritating like fuck..
ok im back alone...no big voices whatsoever...
yahhh...so im here at the laptop...posting abt my day...
GREAT DAY
damn hell long post tho...
hahha...sry to keep u reading readers...
wait..u are all readers...so u dun mind reading...
oh well...nvm then...
uhhh...tmr maths paper 2...
im already 6 feet under...
amazing hw the laptop can get internet connection frm wayy down here..
LAMENESS..i knw..
alrite...
im proud to announce that this loooong and murderous lecture/speech is over...and the talk abt my day...is DONE..
happy nw??HAPPY NOW??
hahha...ok gooodbye people!*GOOOOOODBYYYYYYYEEEE*
ARRGH SHUTTUP BIG VOICE...*takes out gun**shoots the dude*
yeah...UR DEAD BITCH..
ok u knw im juz arguing with myself??sorta?
hahah...
im going whacked...
entertaining myself actually...
ok nw is the proper goodbye

BB!
good luck for ur up coming mid years readers(if u have any papers)!
may u enjoy life as much as i am now...i shall treasure it for good..
special thanks to the people who made my day a real fun 1 and..
yeah..couldnt have posted a loong 1 without u guys..THNX LOADS...

ok as for the song lyrics...
U ALL HAVE TO WAIT LONGER..*audience sighs longer*
dun worry!*audience looks up optimistically*
ill have the lyrics soon!*audience cheers loudly*
hah...i knw u all want it...
actually i do..bt the post is long enuff...
goodbye now!!thnx for reading my longest post of alll time..

MSN

Sunday 4-5-08

2008-05-04T10:43:00.000-07:00

Ok....
sry peeps for not posting...

uhhhhhh...
right..so here we go

im posting abt friday - sunday???
yeah...
so here it is

Friday 2-5-08
had exams...
2 papers actually..
english paper 2 and maths paper 1...
english paper 2...can say that im gonna flop the paper..
coz i dont think i did my best...
maths...was amazing
i tot i was only going to be able to do 4-5 questions out of the million or so it seems...
turnout i filled in all but half a question with answers...
more do-able...
then went for friday prayers...
came back home to eat...coz the hydrochloric acid in my stomach was eating my stomach tissues as i hevent eaten at allll
after that...i went for the physics "class"
so much for the class...
MR.ANG DID NOT COME TO CLASS
so the...7 of us?
yeahh...den played in class...
we listened to sentimental rock...or juz sentimental music..
den we break dance(trying to revive break dance actually)
den hidayat showed his silat moves..or practiced it on us...
i got flipped upside down.THAT WAS COOOOL
was quite a duration tho...blood rushed to my head...and EYES..
EYES..hurt..
bt it was incomparable to the fun of being held upside down...bwahahha
then went home...i went separate ways since...
i dun wanna be extra there...if u catch my drift...
then went home...
been a loooong while since the last time i had fun with them..
hope it stays this way tho...rly do hope i dun fuck this up again
sry people of whom i call friends

Saturday 3-5-08
stayed home the whole day...dammit...
had to "study"..bt played all the way...
at night...abt 8...went to challenger to get a cable for smth im too lazy to describe...
hah..
den go record some shit...
and thats about it...

Sunday 4-5-08
ahh...finally...the end of the weekend...
see wad i did...
END of the weekEND...
ok lameshit...
played games summore...
bt studied too...PHYSICS MUST STUDY..
coz Mr.Ang is not say useless...
VERY useless..with a capital V.E.R and Y
so then...ate alot...
studied,played,watched vids...chat with syg...
den dats about it..
hahha
very lame weekend i knw...
IM GONNA MAKE NEXT WEEKEND WREAK I TELL U..
doesnt matter hw...im gonna do it!
sound so enthu...bwahhahaha..
ok anyway...
im not glued to any songs at the moment
so no lyrics..(crowd 'aww's)
BT DUN FRET!
im gonna post smth next time!
hahah..ok im retarded..

tc fellow bloggers and lead a happy life!
which i am trying to do!
im more optimistic now i realise...hah
glass is half full. hahahaa..-_-

MSN

Balls...

2008-05-01T21:00:00.000-07:00

Sry i hevent been posting for the past few...decades or so(seems like it)
ill post smth..different,more lively...less negative since some1 brought up the issue that my posts have been quite,negative,and self-loathing...

My life..
i shall not elaborate..
the end

Euthanasia
now thats a topic worth talking abt...better than my life i suppose?
ok all i knw abt it is that,it kills sm1..
its called mercy killing or smth in greek?
its about...dying in a,peaceful manner..
not suicide...
wad i learnt in lit
DO NOT CONFUSE EUTHANASIA WITH SUICIDE...
ok..
so basically euthanasia is good when u want it to be..
and suicide is bad overall...
so its basically a jab that kills...nicely?
wadeva

on with the next part of the post

i fell in love with..uhhh....uhhh
songs??
ok honestly i dunno wad to post abt...
put more lyrics????
who wants??
I DUN CARE WHO WANTS OR NOT...im gonna post
i wanna be the old me again...then juz wanna be carefree...
tho..parents wont like it?coz its too childish and irritating..
bt friends would be happier...
so im stuck in a dilemma...
help,here??

oh cock...
nvm...
im listening to The Proclaimers...
wtf??
ok nvm

Roadrunner United
The End

Just when you thought it was over
The sky turned black and we all fell to Earth
Dead in our tracks, we were frozen in fact
Choking to breathe, then came the seas
Wash away impurities, wash away all that couldn’t be

Everyone will be washed away
Drowning in the hell that we made
I cannot believe THAT OUR end is so near

Everyone will be washed away
Drowning in the hell that we made
I cannot believe THAT OUR end is so near

Standing at the end of our world
Breathing in thee chaos behold
None will be found, it’s all toppling down
Cities will seethe, none could believe
Wash away impurities, wash away all that couldn’t be

Everyone will be washed away
Drowning in the hell that we made
I cannot believe THAT OUR end is so near

Everyone will be washed away
Drowning in the hell that we made
I cannot believe THAT OUR end is so near

Save me
Save me from what will engulf this world
Save us
Save us from the end, save us from ourselves
Save me
Save me from what will engulf this world

Just when you thought it was over
The sky turned black and we all fell to Earth (fell to Earth)

Everyone will be washed away
Drowning in the hell that we made
I cannot believe THAT OUR end is so near

Everyone will be washed away
Drowning in the hell that we made
I cannot believe THAT OUR end is so near

Everyone will be washed away
Drowning in the hell that we made
I cannot believe THAT OUR end is so near...

MSN

haizzz

2008-04-28T07:48:00.000-07:00

Trivium
This World Can't Tear Us Apart

I was so empty
Self loathing
Before you awoke me
Lived in transgression
Feasted sin
Destroying all I stood for

A world of spreading disease
Legs up for infidelity
They force feed of their stiffened sickness
The promised hiding their rings
To suck down some of the things
That cheat this world into lovelessness

All the pain in this world won't stop us now
For we have each other
All the hate in this world can't tear us apart
This love is forever

In arms we'll turn (a)way
From their ways
We live like no other
Together we're hope
Absolute
The only thing that matters

A world of spreading disease
Legs up for infidelity
They force feed of their stiffened sickness
The promises hiding their rings
To suck down some of the things
That cheat this world into lovelessness

All the pain in this world won't stop us now
For we have each other
All the hate in this world can't tear us apart
This love is forever

All the pain in this world won't stop us now
All the hate in this world can't tear us apart

All the pain in this world won't stop us now
For we have each other
All the hate in this world can't tear us apart
This love is forever

this song...
ive always hope that the chorus(most repeated lines in this song) applies to my relationship...
it seems that ive been an arse...
the pain and pressure im facing...it kills me to knw that she has to endure all the bullshit im giving...and shes not even part of it..
im like...the most useless person...any1 can get a boyfriend...
im useless in sch...useless in the rel...
im still wondering why she still loves me...
although im already falling to bits...
in this case patience isnt a virtue...its torture...
hw long more do i have to be patient?
im really wasting every1s time...especially hers...
im really sorry for u ppl who are spending ur time reading this
im really sorry for ranting shit stuff which wastes plenty of ur time

sm1 juz pull the trigger already

MSN

random

2008-04-27T04:01:00.000-07:00

darn...
ive been thinking...
thoroughly..
i cant blame any1 for my ruined life...
its all me..
i realized that all these time that ive been having a shit life,
im the 1 who caused it..
i knw...some readers(if any) might be saying "tau takper"
for non-malay readers...its smth like "now u knw???"
not now i knw...
ive been thinking more...

so i guess...i still have to live this life till...end of O lvls??
yeahh..seems like it...
i cant make it up to any1..coz wadeva i do..every1s unhappy
so i leave it juz like that...
b4 i do some real damage to my life...more damage thats wad i mean
i doubt any1 reads my blog anyway..other than her..
if any1 is reading...do make a sincere tag and say "fiq,u suck"
thanks alot so i knw ur actually reading this awful piece of shit post...
and make sure u type it with meaning...coz i knw u most ppl out there,
(u knw who u are)
hates me..
not blaming u for hating me tho...
its my fault yes...i knw

hah...
im making a living hell for myself..
hws that...
ive soo been wanting to put a bullet in my head...bt cant find 1..
and i cant find a bullet launcher strong enuff...smth called a gun
im disgusted by myself...
i loathe myself..
im pathetic...
i dun want any1s pity...
i juz wanna apologize to whoever i have made unhappy/sad/angry
and for those ppl who hates/dislikes/detests me..
i truely understand why

MSN

Saturday 26-4-08

2008-04-26T22:30:00.000-07:00

ok...i gotta make up for yesterdays...uhh..absence of a post..

Friday 25-4-08

had the 1st exam paper...
EL and MT Paper 1..juz compositions/essays...
it was alrite...bt i managed to get lost in my own story(english)
kinda fucked i knw..
den went for friday prayers...
went home..ate..went to sch again for Chemistry supplementary class
was alright...got a little grasp on it...
after that...went to pick up my spectacles...
yes..SPECTACLES..with the capital S.P.E.C.T.A.C.L.E and S
im miopic now or what the malays say POTEK
oh well..im nw a majority..

Saturday 26-4-08

woke up damn early...abt 8?
haha..dats my early..
coz my family,
when i say family,its juz my dad,mum,elder bro,lil twin bros and myself..
bt today...inclusive of my lil cozzin
so we were going to the Singapore Flyer
yes,some say its pointless to go in a cabin of a gigantor wheel..
bt its not half bad actually (since the company my mum is working for paid for it... family day thingy they were having)
its free...and i managed to get pics!
yeahhhhh...finally filled some of that 2GB memory card...
the view wasnt breath-taking...
coz its Singapore...duh..what can u see?
family time was more important
so after that flyer ride..
wanted to eat
Popeye's was full..so went to sakura at City Hall..
better food anyway..
den my uncle picked up my cozzin after that..coz he had to go for madrasah(religious class)
after that..went Tampines...to find a hoodie shirt for my lil bro...
he wants it soo much i have no idea why
so juz got that for him...
went home after that...
it was abt 4?
den i slept...
till..6:50+++
woke up...did my prayers...
den wanted to sleep
cant..so i used the comp...
till nw?
yeahhh...
one of the more..."exciting" days of my life...

" Then you slowly recall all your mind.
Why, your soul's gone cold, and all hope has run dry.
Dead inside,
Never enough to forget that you're one of the lonely.
Slowly recall all your mind."

and

" If I scare you now,
Don't run from me.
I've been hiding my pain, you see.
Tell if I scare you now,
Don't run from me.
I've been hiding my pain, you see."

are my favourite lines frm the song Decadence by Disturbed
i like the song..lyrics...
the song isnt bad...bt not suitable for the...relaxing type..
gosh...i got tons of favourite song lines...bt then...
i cant find the time...haizz

MSN

thursday 24-4-08

2008-04-24T07:53:00.000-07:00

YOOOO felloew bloggers,

my day was quite normal today...
my normal,not the uhh..normal,normal..
nvm if u dun understand
many crestians went home with boxes today!
coz they had to clear the shit under their desks..

during recess...
after eating,went up to hall earlier..
then sat down..
as i sat and look arnd like a fool/idiot..
i started thinking..
the main topic for my thinking is "I Am Actually Thinking More Than Usual"
really..i was...
i realised that..
as u sit,not entertained by anything else in the world..
ur mind gets active...thinking more
den ull start to dream...
building sandcastles in the air
bt not for me...i was fully aware of my surroundings...
bt millions of questions filled my mind..
especially physics questions...
i wanna knw the full explanation for gravity,friction etc..
in that 10 mins...i managed to plan this blog post and question myself..
amazing hw d mind works

went to make my glasses at abt 9...
didnt get the Oakley i wanted...
oh well...ill save for that...
this isnt so bad...since im only wearing it during lessons...
no other time...
tmr picking it up!
i dun look like a geek nw...
i am a geek...
pfft

thats about it?
i dunno...too lazy to remember stuff...
oh btw...tmr 1st mid year paper..
DIE!
hah..nvm
ill live...i think?

MSN

Wednesday 23-4-08

2008-04-23T07:22:00.000-07:00

YEAH!
another amazingly...uninteresting day has juz passed...
i grow another day old!

ok i sound so optimistic...
pfft

back to reality...
the day wasnt soo smooth...
in the morning...woke up late..
so asked her to go sch 1st..since she had stuff to do
met at sch on e way to the classrooms...
hah..hw amazing...
oh well..
lessons were boring as shit...
DNT wasnt so bad...bt 3 periods(=1h 45 mins)???
its kinda long tho....

went to peninsula shopping centre to get guitar strings(i do this every mnth)...
tho nt playing...juz restring so the 6 stringer looks fresh on display...
uhh...besides that...
nth much happened..
spent the other hours of the evening on the comp...den ate..den comp again...

juz wanna say sorry to Zahirah from Hai Sing that i bugged her while doing her work..that is...if she has the time to read this
dun mean in it a bad way tho...
tt is...if she even knws this exist...
sry again..
again...im being an arse to friends...
why cant i juz leave them alone huh?
shit...
im frustrated at myself...what more the others arnd me?
god im irritating..

so thats basically today...
oh i didnt state smth abt yesterday
i broke my own speed record on bike!
44.6 Km/h
bt nobody gives a damn/shit/fuck
hah

MSN

tuesday 22-4-08

2008-04-22T07:47:00.000-07:00

Today...was LOOONG...
really,it felt super long..i dunno why

the lessons in class weren't that interesting...
the day was super long...ended at 3:40..and had maths retest after that...
WTF!
oh well...thats juz life..
anyho...
chemistry lesson was...free periods i guess?
no teacher came in...
i got bored...
there was a group behind me taking "boy-band" like photos...
weird,bt not bad of an idea...

DNT
had test too...
teacher came in late...
so we literally had...less than an hour to do our test?
pathetic...
i left out some Qs since i dunno hw to do...
i tink...im gonna flop all subjects
again!
shiit...
im gonna work hard no matter wad...
and im darn serious abt it...
dun wanna be the same person last year...
a total loser,failure(tho i still am a loser)

overall...today was long and pointless...
i find CME and PC lessons a stupid waste of valuable time..
coz of 2 reasons..
they are teaching us what they should be teaching immoral barbarians...
DO WE LOOK THAT IDIOTIC TO YOU PEOPLE??
2ndly... coz its boring as shit...simple as that...

ok i tink ill stop ranting nw b4 all u readers buzz off
bb n tc all u readers!thank you for ur time

MSN

Monday 21 April

2008-04-21T06:34:00.000-07:00

Ok...
i didnt blog about sunday...
so here it is

SUNDAY
woke up early in the morning to go "ngaji" with my grandmother at my uncles place
took some pills to get rid of my bodyaches b4 leaving the house
i reached my uncles place...
and slept through out the whole time there...
didnt even recite a single Surah...
shit...

nvm..
in the afternoon...
nothing much happened...
juz used the comp...

at night...
i did my homework(amazingly) coz i wanna pass my maths test on monday(today)
asked help frm Shila(thnx loads)
then i watched some Top Gear vids...
comical...
then i slept...

MONDAY
ok for today...
went to school as usual...
amazingly it wasnt those boring mondays
til assembly period in the afternoon...
BORING AS SHIT
went thru exam procedures...
its like our...5th time having this talk
WE GET THE DAMN POINT ALREADY!
ITS NOT LIKE WE NEVER TOOK OUR EXAMS B4!
gosh...
wad a waste of time...
haiz...nvm

after sch...went home(left bag in sch coz got test at 3:30)
i went to sleep for a little while after i ate...
woke up..and i tot i was gonna be late...
so then i rushed...
went to sch juz to knw..teacher was late by 10 mins
how great..
the maths test was kinda tough..
tts coz i hevent been in sch for quite sometime...missed alot of lessons(serves me rite)
after that...ANOTHER test...
this time physics...
could do 1 page...
den cock up the rest...
shit...
gonna fail badly(i think)
went back...
came online...
chat2 with her...
bt very short convo...since the replies were kinda abrupt
i decided to sleep since i was damn tired(slp again??)
woke up for my Maghrib prayers...
slept again(yet again)
woke up at 9?somewhere that time
came online again...ate again
and here i am now..
such a mundane Monday huh?
well...thats juz my life

signing off here,
thanks for reading again readers(tho only a minority reads it)

MSN

Sunday 20 April 08

2008-04-19T10:37:00.000-07:00

Ahh...back on the online diary
gonna blog abt saturday..since its juz the dawn of sunday

well...its been a rough day..fun at the last bit..
woke up at 11 coz bloody tired...
so then...used the comp from then till..i dunno...forever?
i basically wasted the whole saturday away at the comp
bt basically a normal saturday..

after the at abt...9:20 PM
i went to get changed coz i was going out as a family...Inclusive of uncle,aunt and small cozzy...
so then got changed...put some gel on my hair..
this is when it got dumb/crazy/brainless or wadeva u wanna describe it as
i didnt close the gel container lid yet...since i didnt wanna get the whole lid to get gel all over it...
so then my elder bro,seemingly tired...and frustrated(wadeva)..
said it in his angry tone...somewhat shouted...and said "den dunno how to close ar?!" in malay
so then i shouted back "later la!i wanna clean my hands 1st"
i was frustrated with his stupid attitude he was having all these years...
so i kicked the door...headed to the toilet and went away...
he shouted smth which apparently i cant remember coz i didnt bother listening..
so then juz coz of that...an argument started...
of course,vulgarities is a must in these situations...
was bloody frustrated...
it was like fuck i tell u readers..
so went out,seeing red...
bt i had music to accompany me all the way to arab street..

Arab Street...
the place where we went and ate a whole lot...
good thing my family is good at making mistakes...verbal mistakes..
or stupid verbal stuff
so..cheered me up there...
and also msged her...it was nice
cheered me up alright

after that...went back in the car...all...8 of us?
yahh..was a Kia Carnival...so doesnt matter
so we got into the car
i tot we were headed home..
i was wrong
my uncle drove us to Changi Coastal Road...
went along changi beach...
she had to go to slp...so i juz wished her gdnite and stuff...
anyway,i thought we were going to juz drive by and...well...juz drive by...
i was wrong..yet again
we stopped to get ice-cream!
like wtf?
i didnt get any since im no ice-cream fan
it was 12:37 AM on sunday on my watch..
i tot we were going back in the car buuuutttt...
nooooo...we walked 2 carparks to the east of Changi Beach...
coz lil bros wanna go wee2 or smth...
i still had my music on...
so we took our time...going there...cracked some jokes
then,my dad,my uncle and i..
we talked abt airplanes
interesting topic to think of it...
ill skip the rest of the parts since its juz a repetition without the airplane talk..
got back in the car and...hoorah...
we've thrown almost half an hour away frm our lives!
it was exactly 1:11 AM when i got into the car(car's clock,i saw it change frm 1:10 to 1:11)
i didnt have to guess anything...
obviously we headed home..

throughout the journey in the car...i only hear laughters since i had my music on.
must be smth hysterical since every1 laughed..
i missed it...oh well..
doesnt matter.
so then...
got back home and well
here i am!
at the computer...yet again
good thing!

now for smth totally different...
i realized again...
im heavily influenced by bands frm Roadrunner Records
juz cool bands...great musicians too...no doubt
juz love them...and their music..
soo many bands to name...
so i dun bother..nt even 1

so my post ends here...
farewell readers(again...if any)
its ...2 smth AM here...
so yah...going to slp..
i also noticed...i use alot of dots to like...so called add emotions or suspense or pauses..

thank you for bearing all the nonsense I've written here...
bloody long post too..
ok thnx anyway readers!

frm the blog owner,
Scorp/MSN

19 april...midnite

2008-04-19T00:39:00.000-07:00

i juz dun wanna bother so much on the fonts nw...

this phrase.."Never Free, Never Me" relates closely to my life somehw

what i interpret from the phrase...applies to my life pretty much a lot..
i hevent had a chance,in my 15 years of being on earth...to truely be wad i want..
there are always events,or disruptions..to change my lifestyle...yet again

never free to be myself...
that is what i interpret frm the phrase...
i always try to find what i wanna be...what i do best..
lead a carefree or even juz a happy life..
isnt happened..
life always crashes when u knw its at its peak for the moment...
im locked in by all these boundaries...peer pressure,stress and what not..
i barely have anyone to talk simple thrash with anymore...
anti-social u might think..
i think so too...
juz that ppl dun give a damn...

alone..
thats a big word although very basic...
its juz the way the world goes...
some live with many companions..
some juz prefers to be alone..
some wants companions bt been rejected...
some juz wants to be left out..
for me...
im juz 1 fucked up kid...

i knw not many ppl are gonna read this anyway...
so for the ppl who are reading and think im whining...
go fuck urself...

and trust me when i say i knw hw its like to be rejected...or left out...
i knw...
been through deep trenches in life...got out
but being pushed in again...
i never seem to give up trying to find an exit to all this misery...
the martyrdom of juz living with it...
isnt going well for me
i dunno when ill learn that...im in a losing situation
pulling myself together again...juz to get another mental beating..
thanks to blogger,i have smth else to throw my feelings at..
coz i dropped the idea of the 6-stringer...
since people are unhappy abt me...

juz sucks..
life does...
"Never Free,Never Me"
the phrase of my life

18 April 08

2008-04-18T23:36:00.000-07:00

Damn...
today was abit cocked up...

school was alright
p.e was weird...
played soccer(didnt knw floorball was available)
wasnt too bad a match...juz hated the game for reasons i dunno
the main highlight for me was..probably the slide tackle i did..
fuck it hurt yes...coz the victim of my tackle fell..
not over me..ON me..
my moment of glory lasted half a second..
great.

after school then...had NPCC Classification Shoot for my Marksman badge..
long journey there..waited an awfully long time
had fun waiting tho
coz we were being crappy.
im going to describe it in 2 parts.1)the shoot was disappointing..
2)and i found smth abt myself
1)i didnt get the marksman badge due to part 2)..disappointing rather.
bt i didnt care much...
coz more opportunity this year to get shit loads of badges..

part 2)
i found out that im short sighted!
hahaha...cant see 15 metres and beyond...i tink a little below 15 m also cant see.
how sad.
maybe making spectacles?maybe not?

oh well...kinda alright actually..dun mind nt getting the badge..
juz had a good experience and thats all i nd...
im nt making stuff up...it was a good session of shooting 16 live bullets.

aites...ill go nw...
nth else to talk abt.
tc readers!(if any -_-...)

where are u???
miss u soooo much!
haiz...shit loads of stuff happening nw.
kinda pathetic to knw that im getting bugged by matters i thot i didnt care
oh well...
im pathetic then
haha
if only i could be with u nw...
juz the 2 of us

2008-04-17T21:10:00.000-07:00

I SOOO HAVE TO HAVE THIS!
its on my wish list anyway..
haha...
2nd post for today.

Problem why i cant get it is becoz..
its costs a 4 digit number...
thats basically it..
and i dun have the cash

Wish i did have the cash...
the guitar is cool as hell...
hahah

chowzzz..
The blog owner
MSN

Another day

2008-04-17T20:46:00.000-07:00

Gd evening to all readers,

it's juz been a normal day...nth much...
had a dry shoot for tmrs NPCC marksmanship thing...
freaking hell..
waiting an hour plus2..the thing didnt even last 20 mins..
bugger..

nvm.

anyway..
there isnt anything interesting happening around..
tho,i cant wait for the shoot seriously...
damn cool la..

bad thing is...
uniform isnt ready...
boots kinda unpolished...
etc.
nvm...ill do it within the next...hour or so...

i miss her damn lots...
if only she were here and beside me
haha..fat hope..slim chance..
haizz

finally got this blog up..

2008-04-16T06:28:00.000-07:00

Right...
got this blog up and ready.
all i need nw is a post..

Prob is,i dunno wad to post abt.
anyway..life has been same old same old since February.
not a change...dun tink it will.
anyho.
ill go nw
ill try to think of smth worth reading the next time i post.

till then,
MSN